Last night, I sat down to meditate, to contemplate. It had been a full day. It felt good to have some time to myself. Listening to the old George Micheal CD… the song “Jesus to a Child” started playing. It sounded so tender to me, “what a sweet notion,” I thought to myself. Then, felt something tug in my heart. I started crying, not even knowing why at first… but the tears kept coming and I felt myself crying out and releasing moments when racism or what I may have perceived as injustice touched my life. All those incidences, the tears that turned to anger, frustration, disappointment or disgust too quickly to be released. And believe me, there were many of them.. far too numerous to count. They arose like bubbles floating up to the surface of a pond and as I stayed present and surrendered to the moment, they were released in a barrage of tears that were neither self-pitying, nor angry. I cried for myself; for my mother and grandmothers; for Black Americans; for Native Americans; for White Americans who have yet see how they too are limited by the unhealed wounds of slavery, injustice and privilage we share. I cried for our sense of separation and for the children dying of starvation in Africa and India; for women being sold into sex slavery all over the world; for the unneccessary and brutal barbarism of war.
It was as though suppressed emotions around all the times I had witnessed or experienced injustice or hatred, subtle or overt were streaming up and popping. I felt wave after wave of grief and sorrow. Then… then… joy, release, a sweet, open and tender heart. I felt this Love wash through me. I felt connected to everyone and everything. That I was everyone and everything, and it was me. I knew as never before what Dr. King said in the infamous quote about not being free until we are all free.
This surrendered moment of allowing Life to live Itself through me, has given me an even greater capacity to give and receive love. That surrendered space in my heart is now open for more love. The great day will come when a critical mass of us will feel this connection, having created heart space… and together, we will reweave the tattered fabric of our human family. What a glorious day that will be indeed! It is my prayer that you too will have the courage to allow your heart to break open, perhaps again. May we all have heart space.
“We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one directly affects all
indirectly. For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the way God’s universe is made; this is the way it is structured.”
—Martin Luther King Jr. Remaining Awake Through A Great Revolution
Venus
Originally uploaded by Maxresolution.
Dear Marla,
What wonderful and rich insights. I feel so encouraged to know that there are such teachers and guides like yourself out there who are able to articulate all that I am feeling. My hope for you is that your wisdom and insight will open doors of seeking and learning so that the divine essence of the feminine be awakened and give birth to hope and fertlity of new ways.
Pattie